On finances and what they mean for the future
June 29, 2009I’m not good with money.
Let’s just get that out there first of all. I am a shop-a-holic with no sense of money and saving. I am generous, I will spend my last dollar on someone else, even if it’s for something they don’t really need. With that being said. I’m scared….shitless. In a few months Amber will be here, and she will be expecting me to be ready for her arrival. The plan is for her to stay with Jess until she gets a little more financially stable, allowing me time to get my shit together and find a place to live. I’ve never lived solely on my own before. I’ve lived alone but I had financal help, and then I’ve lived with other people and had financial help. I’ve never been responsible for rent/utilities/groceries the whole kit and caboodle. I know I CAN do it, I pay my bills for the most part. I always paid my car payment on time. I just have problems with the “saving all my money to pay rent and not having money to leave the house” part. I know that when my home depends on it, when it dictates on whether my kids have a place to sleep at night, or if Amber came down here for nothing, I will be able to handle it. I’ll be able to finally grow up and be a big girl with big girl responsibilites. I know I CAN do it. I’m just scared, with something like this, there is no room for error. It is something that I want more than just about anything else I’ve wanted in my life, a place to call home. I just hope I don’t fuck it up.
Here’s the not-really-bad-thing-so-I’ll-call-it-”meh”-thing instead: we are both scared shitless!
Here’s the good thing: I don’t think there will be room for failure because I think that each of us will help & support the other even if we don’t necessarily have that for ourselves.
Another thing, “or if Amber came down here for nothing” … that’s not a possibility. No matter what happens once I get there, whether we thrive and do amazing or things fall apart and I’m living in a car, I will not have moved there for nothing. Either way, I will be where I’ve longed to be, the only place that is “home” and I will have you to partially thank for that.
How about you bring in the money and I’ll handle paying all the bills with your money and giving you an allowance?? lmao
No matter what, we’ll get through this and be much happier in 2010
It’s difficult being a grown up. I have no doubt that you are capable of putting your money towards grown-up things if need be, you have to be sure not to live a sterile life. Put little bits of money in a piggybank here and there to treat yourself at financial milemarkers. Also, you won’t be alone. You’ll have Amber. It’s broing and tedious living on your own and having no money for “fun” things. But having someone you love around will help even if they bring nothing financially to the equation. Even a walk somewhere is more fun when you have good company to distract you from the money you can’t spend.